The service in America was AWFUL.
They just smile and wish you a NICE DAY or a PERFECT DAY while they do nothing to help you. (To be honest I found the idea of having to have a PERFECT day rather more than I could cope with.)
The Hyatt in Cincinnatti had stickers everywhere wishing you a PERFECT STAY and suggesting if anything goes wrong you should call your PERFECT STAY AMBASSADOR. Well, by the time we checked out, Mike had called the Perfect Stay Ambassador in for talks to express his concern at the way things had gone.
On arrival I flushed my loo and the bathroom flooded.
We were working in the hotel, Mike called room service for a pot of tea. The voice smarmed 'OF COURSE I'LL HAVE THAT FOR YOU JUST AS SOON AS I POSSIBLY CAN. It'll be about 40 minutes.'
The '24-hour' business center was closed Sundays so Claire could not hire a computer.
Claire called valet parking with 15 minutes notice to get our car ready. 15 minutes later, no car. Assured it's on its way. 10 minutes later still no car. Now running late. Claire is assured it's on its way. 10 more minutes pass... and Claire notices the keys are still on the desk, no-one has gone to fetch it. Did he get a tip? Is Ian Paisley Catholic?
On checking out, Mike elects to pay cash not by credit card, but his breakfast hasn't been added to the bill. Man on desk says 'Well, that's what happens when you gobble down your breakfast and check out in a hurry.' Mike points out that he had his breakfast TWO HOURS ago. Man on desk then plays his trump card: 'Well if sir had kept his yellow slip...' 'I'm sorry?' 'Your yellow slip, it came with breakfast...' Mike looks him in the eye and says 'Well, I guess I'm not having a PERFECT STAY...'
<back whence ye came
