• A large thick-bottomed saucepan – Le Creuset would be ideal
• 3 very large yellow onions
• 1 litre of chicken stock, 1 litre of veg stock (or a bit less – I used about 1.5 litres)
• splash of olive oil, knob of butter, heart of gold – thank you don’t call us
• tablespoon of balsamic vingear
• Gruyere cheese
• salt & pepper

Roughly chop the onion, and fry very gently in the oil and butter for about 40 mins. Turn up the heat towards the end to caramalise (but not burn) the onions. Add the stock & balsamic vinegar. Bring to a simmer and season with salt & pepper to taste. Serve with shards of gruyere (which our local Sainsbury’s doesn’t seem to stock. Grrr.)

Bless you, Sophie. Now, what’s Jamie Cullum got that I haven’t?

A (female) friend of mine points out that only men like Sophie Dahl, whom she describes as over-doing the ‘simpering blonde’ thing. Like that’s a bad thing.

Anyhoo, this pudding is as camp as a summer’s day, if not Christmas. Tilly decorated the top with whipped cream, sprinkles and marshmallows.

• Packet of jelly – Sainsbury’s Basics jelly is 9p a packet I think
• Smallest available tin of evaporated milk
• Stuff to go on top – whipped cream, sprinkles, marshmallows, fruit etc.

Make the jelly up – dissolve the cubes in half a pint of boiling water, then make up to a pint using evaporated milk rather than water. Set in fridge and when ready, go mad on top. Eat in a tree house on a quiet, plane-free sunny day.