This should feed 5 people easily. Adapted from The Little Swedish Kitchen by Rachel Khoo – I highly recommend the book and TV series.

• 500g tagliatelle pasta
• 350g hot dogs, chopped into small chunks
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 100ml double cream
• knob of butter or slash of oil
• splash of milk
• 2 tablespoons of capers, finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon tomato puree
• 1 tablespoon of Dijon mustard
• heaped teaspoon of paprika (not smoked)
• 2 spring onions, finely chopped
• salt & pepper

Get a big pan of salted boiling water and get the pasta on.

Fry the onion and sausages in the butter or oil until the onion starts to brown. Add the cream, paprika and tomato puree. Simmer for a few minutes. Loosen the sauce with the milk and some of the pasta water if you think it needs it. Mix in the capers and spring onions. Serve.

Ok, this is about as French as cricket, but I was listening to fip as I was eating this, and the presenter wished her listeners a ‘bonne Dimanche’. Bonne Dimanche indeed.

To feed one person you will need:

• 2 slices off a large white crusty loaf of bread
• 1 rasher of bacon
• A sausage opened out, or a sausage-amount of sausage meat
• A slice of cheese (I used Emmental)
• Condiments of choice

Put the grill on! On some foil, flatten out the sausage meat so it’s the same shape and size as your bread. The idea here is that it cooks much more quickly than a normal sausage. Put it under a medium-high grill with the bacon.

When the bacon and sausage are looking cooked on one side, flip them and put the bread under the grill. Keep an eye on it.

When the bread is toasted on one side, flip it over, put the sausage meat on one slice and add the cheese on top. Keep under the grill for a minute or two until all the meat is cooked and cheese melted.

Assemble and eat with condiments like tomato ketchup or American mustard.

SonA had a fried egg in his as well, but I think that’s de trop.

Serves 4. You will need:

• 1 packet of Lidl bratwurst.
• 1 jar of Sainsbury’s Basics Curry Sauce
• Heinz ketchup
• skinny oven fries

Sainsbury’s Basics curry sauce is currently on sale for THIRTY PENCE for a large jar, same size as their ‘Chinese Chip Shop Curry Sauce’ which is around FIVE TIMES more expensive. The cheaper sauce has less salt, less fat and fits the bill perfectly.

I fried the bratwurst, but next time I’ll grill them and I grilled the skinny oven fries. I heated the curry sauce in a small saucepan with a very large squirt of ketchup.

When the fried are crispy, serve with the sausages and douse in curry sauce / ketchup mix. EAT. And feel very, very guilty.

Feeds 3.

• 6 tortilla wraps
• 6 eggs
• 6 sausages
• 3 rashers of bacon
• splash of milk
• butter & vegetable oil
• half tsp vanilla extract
• half tsp ground cinnamon
• salt & pepper
• 6 slices processed cheese (the more artificial the better)

Put the grill on, and cook the sausages and bacon. Use 3 eggs to make 1 plain batch of scrambled eggs. Place 1 slice of cheese on each of the 3 wraps and divide eggs equally among 3 wraps. Slice the cooked bacon & sausages and do the same, piling everything up in the middle. Trim 3 wraps so they are slightly smaller, place on top of each wrap, and fold the bottom over to make a tight package.

Now we did the next bit different ways.

You can fry this wrap on both sides until golden brown and serve with scrambled eggs made with cinnamon and vanilla, or you can fry the wrap quickly on both sides, dip in the vanilla / cinnamon scrambled egg mix and fry again. I actually preferred the first way. EAT.

Makes 3 burritos.

Ingredients:

• 1 huge potato (or 3 small ones)
• 1 medium or small onion
• some fresh chillis
• half a red pepper, diced
• 3 eggs
• 3 sausages of choice
• 5 rashers of bacon
• salt, pepper
• olive oil
• smoked paprika
• chilli sauces of choice
• 200g grated cheddar cheese
• 3 tortillas / wraps

Put the grill on, grill the sausages and bacon. Remove the bacon when crispy.

Peel and grate the potato and onion – I used a food processor and picked the gratings out by hand to leave the juice out. Fry the potato and onion in a big pan. If it sticks and goes brown in places, so much the better. Add the diced red pepper, fresh chilli, salt, pepper, some smoked paprika. After about 10 minutes, chop the crispy bacon into chunks and add to the pan, stir. Crack in 3 eggs and mix, stirring until the egg is cooked. Then add the cheese and stir until melted.

Now get your 3 tortillas and place a cooked sausage in the middle of each. Surround the sausage with the mixture from the pan, and add your chilli sauce of choice at this point (we like the Wahaca ones). Fold your burrito and quickly grill them in the same tray you cooked the bacon and sausage in.

I’d have taken a better photo, but they didn’t hang around long enough. Not quite as epic as Epic Meal Time’s, but a whole lot quicker and easier. And so, so tasty. We could all have eaten another one…