Microsoft have done it again. Showing the customary flair for innovation that has made them so filthy rich, Bill Gates and his serfs have come up with an amazing new operating system that will doubtless get glowing reviews in the mainstream media for its sheer cuddliness.

Welcome to the colorful, cuddly world of WindowsXP.



And what does the XP stand for? Well they are not entirely sure themsleves, lamely saying it stands for the 'Windows Experience' or maybe XHTML. There's no 'P' in XHTML, Bill, and my 'Windows Experience' consists of having to reboot my PC at work half a dozen times a day having been told that Microsoft Windows has performed an 'illegal operation' (gun running? drug dealing?) while running Outlook or Internet Explorer, applications written by, er, Microsoft.



I have another theory. They called it WindowsXP to make it sound like Apple's OS X - hell, it looks like MacOS X, and they have even called the new user interface look 'Luna' - OS X's visual style is called 'Aqua'. And that desert wallpaper could have been copied straight out of the 'Apple Extras' folder on my iMac.

Methinks they are taking the piss in Seattle.

And just to keep us Mac-heads happy, they have allowed us to rerun the 'Windows 95, Macintosh 84' joke by placing the trash can, sorry recycle bin, at the bottom right-hand corner of the screen - just like the old Mac OS!

Look-and-feel lawsuit anyone?

I'm sure if Steve Jobs complains, Gates will get on CNN in his whiniest voice saying, "Well Steve it's like I broke into your house and stole your stereo, and the last time I did that the police didn't want to know so whaddya going to do now ha ha ha."

If it does anything, WindowsXP might settle the 'OS X on Intel' debate once and for all. With such a similar-looking OS from the mighty evil empire, surely competition is futile as well as killing Apple's precious revenues from making and selling hardware.

Bill Gates is 17.