A (female) friend of mine points out that only men like Sophie Dahl, whom she describes as over-doing the ’simpering blonde’ thing. Like that’s a bad thing.

Anyhoo, this pudding is as camp as a summer’s day, if not Christmas. Tilly decorated the top with whipped cream, sprinkles and marshmallows.

• Packet of jelly – Sainsbury’s Basics jelly is 9p a packet I think
• Smallest available tin of evaporated milk
• Stuff to go on top – whipped cream, sprinkles, marshmallows, fruit etc.

Make the jelly up – dissolve the cubes in half a pint of boiling water, then make up to a pint using evaporated milk rather than water. Set in fridge and when ready, go mad on top. Eat in a tree house on a quiet, plane-free sunny day.

This is adapted from Yotam Ottolenghi’s vegetable paella recipe, using what we had to hand. It was a big hit. Well, I call anything the children eat 4 portions of a hit, especially as William decided picking the vegetables out was too much bother, and it was so tasty, so he just ate the lot. Well, not the prawns, but I’m not complaining.

Served 2 adults and 3 children.

• Olive oil
• Large onion, finely chopped
• 1 or 2 long red peppers cut into long, thin slices
• 1 fennel bulb, sliced
• 4 chopped garlic cloves
• 4 bay leaves
• half teaspoon paprika
• 1 teaspoon turmeric
• half teaspoon cayenne pepper (I overdid this, which may have been the secret of its success).
• some saffron threads
• 400g or 450g rice – I used risotto rice
• 200ml sherry
• 500ml or more of stock – I used chicken stock
• salt and pepper
• a few handfuls of frozen peas
• 23 mini plum tomatoes, halved (should have been 24, but I went with 23… again maybe the secret of its success…)
• small tin of pitted black olives
• packet of prawns
• parsley

Heat the oil in a big, flat pan and gently fry the onion for 5 minutes.
Add the peppers and fennel, fry for 6 more minutes on a medium heat.
Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute.
Add the spices (aside from the saffron) and the rice and cook on a medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Chuck in the sherry and the saffron. Inhale deeply.
Boil for a minute and add the stock and a good pinch of Maldon sea salt.
Turn the heat right down and simmer for 20 minutes, adding extra water or stock if needed. During this time add the olives, prawns, peas and tomatoes. When cooked chuck some parsley on top.

A few weeks ago I had a longing for Eggs Benedict. I tried to make them the proper way, making my own Hollandaise sauce. It was a lot of bother and it didn’t work. I had wanted to recreate the delicious moment I first tasted this most divine of breakfasts, with Claire Bolderson in The Heathman Hotel in Portland, Oregon. I just ended up with a gloopy, curdled mess.

Anyway, I had the yearning again today and, thanks to the combined wisdom of half a dozen different web pages, made my own version of what I now call Mollandaise Sauce – mock Hollandaise.

Serves 2.

• 2 English Muffins – only here we just call them muffins.
• 2 large free-range eggs
• teaspoon white wine vinegar
• teaspoon or more of Dijon mustard
• juice of half a lemon
• jar of mayonnaise
• 2 rashers of bacon (optional)

Lightly toast the muffins and grill the bacon if you are a carnivore.

Make a bain marie – put a bowl over a pan of boiling water and put several dollops of mayonnaise in the bowl. Stir as it heats up and slowly add a teaspoon or two of Dijon mustard, a few teaspoons of water and the same amount of lemon juice.

Poach 2 eggs in hot water with a splash of white wine vinegar. When cooked, remove the eggs with a slotted spoon, pat dry and place on a muffin. Spoon over the Mollandaise sauce. Add bacon. Enjoy!

Henry gave it 8 out of 10 – not quite as good as my eggy bread with bacon and maple syrup, but he did enjoy it. Me? I was almost there… back in the restaurant of the Heathman Hotel…