Monthly Archive for June, 2006

Rules for Drivers in London

* It is illegal to have more than one working brake light at any given time.

* Using indicators creates great drain on your car’s battery, so don’t bother with them.

* Speeds indicated on road signs are minimum suggested speeds.

* The white line down the middle of the road should be kept - as far as possible - under the middle of your car.

* Double-parking is permitted as long as your hazard warning lights are on.

* Pedestrians: 1 point, cyclists : 2pts, motorbikes : 5pts, nuns : 6pts, nuns on motorbikes: 5000pts.

The Power of Nightmares

Went on a course on Thursday. It was just down the corridor from the Crimewatch office. How tempting it was to nick the pile of newspapers left on the floor outside.

When we came back from lunch the newspapers had gone.

It wasn’t me.

Goodnight, and don’t have nightmares.

Seven Things I Have Done That I’ll Never Do Again

1) See The Smiths playing live (at the time of writing, as far as I know, none of the band is actually dead, but a reunion seems very, very unlikely).

2) Stand on the observation deck of the World Trade Center. Pretty damn sure about this one.

3) Tell people I live in the County of Avon. Gone and never missed.

4) Stand right outside 10 Downing Street as a tourist. Vaguely remember doing this as a small child.

5) Touch the stones at Stonehenge.

6) Get off a tube train at Strand Station

7) Go to Beijing. Okay, I know Beijing still exists and this is technically possible, but I went there and I didn’t like it and I won’t be going back.

Pretty sure my children will never do 1-6 either.

Real Artists Ship - and they want your desktop

I went to a Novell event in London today. We were interested in their shift to Linux and possibly in using their Suse Linux Enterprise Server.

What I wasn’t expecting was for them to say that they were after the desktop market as well. CTO Jeff Jaffe spoke to us about his desire to get Suse Linux on most desktops in the workplace. He explained why Windows Vista is so named (it’s always somewhere on the horizon). And he looks and talks, rather spookily, a bit like Bill Gates. He must be the anti-Bill!

I’ve not tried my freebie beta copy of Suse Linux Enterprise Desktop 10 yet - but it’s clear that Novell are pretty excited about it. Jeff Jaffe made a couple of freudian slips, saying ‘desktop’ when he meant ’server’. Or ’sandwich’. Or indeed anything that wasn’t ‘desktop’.

As I sat there I thought that they must be crazy to go after the desktop. But then I thought about Apple and their relatively small team who can knock out release after release of OS X because they use open source components. Clearly Novell can do the same with Suse Linux, while Microsoft spend gazillions of dollars, writing everything in-house, and spending yet another year not shipping Vista. And you have to admit, Microsoft are very good at not shipping Vista.

It Isn’t Easy Being Green

Okay, I’m going to regret this, but it’s been a weird week at work, I’ve drunk too much white wine and spent a slightly surreal evening with my kids and some veh veh nice posh people in a beautiful garden in Blackheath.

My colleague (and partner of my friend Dan), Kirsty Reid, has written an article in The Guardian about how their car was nicked and trashed and they couldn’t really afford to replace it, so they didn’t.

And hey, it turns out that living in London you can sort of get by without a car. But then you sort of need a car some times too.

Gee, life is confusing, isn’t it?

Keep Death off the Roads - Cycle on the Pavement

Whilst we’re blogging about bad cyclists, I feel I need to mention that on the way home from work this evening I nearly got mown down by a cyclist cycling round the Aldwych at high speed - on the pavement.

I guess he’d come down Kingsway, wanted to go West on the Strand but couldn’t be arsed to go right round the one way system round Bush House and Australia House.

But it’s okay. I mean, he was wearing a huge pair of headphones, so had he run me down, he wouldn’t have been troubled by my screams of agony.

Football - can’t live with it

It’s hard to like football even if you make the effort.

The BBC (and others) had made efforts to screen matches in public venues all over Britain. But following trouble in London and Liverpool, they’re scaling back and have scrapped plans to show any more matches in those locations.

Seems a shame for the majority - especially families with children - who were enjoying themselves. Radio reports said a 6 year-old child got caught up in one of the disturbances.

But you just can’t imagine trouble flaring up at a screening of an opera or Wimbledon. Which is exactly what they’ll be showing in Liverpool and Canary Wharf from now on.

The Photographer’s Chemist

I was really sad when Boots recently closed their in-store photo lab on the Strand in London. pregla glassTheir prints were always great and the service was excellent. But I guess not so many people are using film, and most of the people with digital cameras probably never bother to get nice prints made on photographic paper.

First they disconnected the Fuji processing and printing machines.

Today I went in there and the whole area had been cleared to make way for more shelves of cosmetics and toiletries.

I went and asked if they still took film for D&P - I’d taken a roll from Snappy Snaps across the road, and despite being able to score some rolls of Agfa Ultra, I’d been shocked by how dull - and expensive - their prints were.

Boots did indeed still take film. She asked me which service I wanted - the slowest and cheapest, I said. She invited me to look at the list of services and choose one. I did. She then asked for my phone number.

“7557…” I started.

She wrote down 775.

“No, 7 5 5 7…”

She wrote down 777.

“No, 7 5 5 7…” I said.

“You write it down” she said.

I wrote down my number and she looked at it as if it were written in an ancient and unknown alphabet.

“So, when will they be ready?” she asked.

Yes, she asked me when they’d be ready.

“In five days?” I ventured.

“When is five days from today?” she asked.

“Well, it’s Monday today…”

Then I asked for a Photo CD. She ran to get help. I know, it’s tricky working out that when someone asks for a Photo CD you put an X in the box marked ‘Photo CD’.

Thing is, this assistant - good-natured but untroubled by anything resembling grey matter - was working on the pharmacy counter. As a friend said to me when I told him the story - “People have probably died”.