Two removal vans have carted our old neighbours’ possessions off in two separate directions to two different houses, and later today we’ll be getting new neighbours.
I just dropped a welcome card through their letterbox. I did consider writing another pseudonymous card to freak them out:
Hullo. We’re Nigel and Julie from across the street. Welcome to your new home! We’re sure you’re going to love it here, and we admire the fact that you’ve not been put off by the incidents in your house. Still, I’m sure the police did a good job of putting the garden back as it was.
We’ve put you down for car parking-watch duties on Mondays and Tuesdays. You can collect your tabard and clipboard from Number 17. Just like to point out that we don’t allow barbecues or bonfires and no loud music after 7pm.
Key party nights are every third Monday night. This month’s theme is leather.
All the best, Nige & Jools x x x
The coalition is such a success, I think this is not the New Politics - it’s the End of Politics.
The lion lies down with the lamb. There is peace, unity and all is good.
It’s such a triumph that I can’t believe no-one has thought of doing this before. Why stop at the 55% rule for dissolving Parliament? I don’t think we ever need another General Election ever again. Another election might risk political instability. It might risk us being thrown out of the political garden of Eden. All hail Presidents-for-life Nick and Dave!
</sarcasm>
Hey Alanis, now this really is Ironic: the party that said it wouldn’t do a deal with a party that came third in the popular vote, and which says the electoral system is unfair, came in third place in popular vote and third in the number of MPs. This party is now holding the balance of power.
Labour candidates crashing cars, getting arrested, slagging off pensioners and now seemingly breaking electoral law. On Twitter. What next ?!? I’m starting to think it’s all a cunning ruse by Labour after that alleged Mervyn King comment about the party who wins this election being so unpopular they’ll be out of power for a generation.
“Attention please, the sandwich man is in the main newsroom.”
“Sandwiches are now in the newsroom.”
“There are now two sandwich men in the newsroom.” (At which point I shout ‘FIGHT!’)
“There is now mayonnaise on the carpet of the main newsroom.”
“Will the Daily Politics runner please run past Radio Record, tossing her hair in a Harmony Hairspray commercial kind of way?”
“And again, please.”
“Could someone from This Week come to reception. I’m bored.”
Choice strips from numbers 301-601.
xkcd.com/308/ - interesting life
xkcd.com/314/ - dating pools
xkcd.com/323/ - ballmer peak
xkcd.com/327/ - exploits of a mom
xkcd.com/334/ - wasteland
xkcd.com/349/ - success
xkcd.com/363/ - reset
xkcd.com/374/ - journal
xkcd.com/377/ - journal 2
xkcd.com/378/ - real programmers
xkcd.com/400/ - important life lesson
xkcd.com/405/ - journal 3
xkcd.com/407/ - cheap gps
xkcd.com/420/ - jealousy
xkcd.com/424/ - security holes
xkcd.com/429/ - fantasy
xkcd.com/432/ - journal 4
xkcd.com/433/ - journal 5
xkcd.com/439/ - thinking ahead
xkcd.com/451/ - impostor
xkcd.com/456/ - cautionary
xkcd.com/458/ - regrets
xkcd.com/460/ - paleontology
xkcd.com/461/ - google maps
xkcd.com/463/ - voting machines
xkcd.com/469/ - improvised
xkcd.com/483/ - fiction rule of thumb
xkcd.com/489/ - going west
xkcd.com/513/ - friends
xkcd.com/518/ - flow charts
xkcd.com/528/ - windows 7
xkcd.com/558/ - 1000 times
xkcd.com/559/ - no pun intended
xkcd.com/568/ - well 2
xkcd.com/570/ - new car
xkcd.com/584/ - unsatisfied
xkcd.com/588/ - pep rally
xkcd.com/590/ - papyrus
Life is short, xkcd is long - over 700 strips and counting. What to do?
Fear not - I’ve picked the best ones for you, starting with numbers 1 to 301… the ones that made me laugh out loud and the ones that made me cry. Actually they pretty much all made me laugh out loud, aside from the barrel ones.
The Barrel Strips - remind me of Peter Blegvad’s Leviathan.
xkcd.com/1/
xkcd.com/11/
xkcd.com/22/
xkcd.com/25/
xkcd.com/31/
The Other Strips
xkcd.com/23/ - t-shirts
xkcd.com/33/ - self-reference
xkcd.com/42/ - car insurance
xkcd.com/44/ - love
xkcd.com/45/ - shrodinger’s comic
xkcd.com/46/ - secrets
xkcd.com/56/ - the cure
xkcd.com/57/ - wait for me
xkcd.com/58/ - why do you love me?
xkcd.com/59/ - graduation
xkcd.com/66/ - abusive astronomy
xkcd.com/74/ - su doku
xkcd.com/75/ - curse levels
xkcd.com/77/ - bored with the internet
xkcd.com/79/ - iambic pentameter
xkcd.com/90/ - jacket
xkcd.com/92/ - sunrise
xkcd.com/93/ - jeremy irons
xkcd.com/107/ - snakes on a plane 2
xkcd.com/109/ - spoiler alert!
xkcd.com/114/ - computational linguistics
xkcd.com/120/ - dating service
xkcd.com/122/ - quirky girls
xkcd.com/128/ - dPain over dT
xkcd.com/149/ - Linux sandwich
xkcd.com/150/ - grownups - where it all started when I spotted this strip stuck to a fridge in someone’s Flickr photostream
xkcd.com/175/ - automatic doors
xkcd.com/193/ - perfect sound
xkcd.com/197/ - ninja turtles
xkcd.com/219/ - blanket fort
xkcd.com/231/ - cat proximity
xkcd.com/251/ - cd tray fight
xkcd.com/262/ - cat captions
xkcd.com/270/ - t h white’s merlin
xkcd.com/273/ - the electromagnetic spectrum
xkcd.com/275/ - meet the parents
xkcd.com/283/ - movie pet peeve
xkcd.com/300/ - mildly sleazy uses of Facebook pt14
Three good things happened today.
- I discovered an awesome web site, thanks to Sky News and the Eyjafjallajoekull volcano in Iceland: RadarVirtuel. Sadly it is so awesome, and word of it clearly spread so far, that their servers went into melt-down and it’s been offline most of the day. It allows you to track planes in real time. Click on them and it tells you where they came from and where they are going and shows you their flight paths. It’s as if David Cameron’s invitation to the people to run the government now extends to Air Traffic Control. “Who wants big government telling planes where they can and cannot fly?”. I am expecting a USB headset in the post following a Tory landslide. I need never leave the house again.
- Another fricking awesome web site. The cartoons at xkcd.com - they are almost all wonderful but here are three random ones I spotted this evening:
http://www.xkcd.com/79/
http://www.xkcd.com/75/
http://www.xkcd.com/90/
- Toby Ziegler from The West Wing walked past my office door today. He SMILED at me.
Today we also speculated about what Air Traffic Controllers did with their unexpected day off:
Me: They played Pong.
Neil: They did their laundry.
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