“Attention please, the sandwich man is in the main newsroom.”
“Sandwiches are now in the newsroom.”
“There are now two sandwich men in the newsroom.” (At which point I shout ‘FIGHT!’)
“There is now mayonnaise on the carpet of the main newsroom.”
“Will the Daily Politics runner please run past Radio Record, tossing her hair in a Harmony Hairspray commercial kind of way?”
“And again, please.”
“Could someone from This Week come to reception. I’m bored.”