I never got hats. For starters, I look a right tit in any hat, so that rules out me ever wearing one. Women’s hats were equally baffling to me. The word ‘fascinator’ only entered my vocabulary during the recent royal wedding ceremony (thank you Jackie), but even then, I never understood why women might actually want to wear a hat – until today.
It’s Ascot this week, which means… ladies in hats. More specifically, ladies in hats on my train, getting off at Waterloo East. And this morning I saw a young woman on her own, the sole racegoer on a train full of a bunch of schmucks, me included, on their way to work.
It was a revelation.
Her hat was – forgive my hamfisted description – a flat black disc with white polka dots. On top of this was a pink floral arrangement with 1 or 2 mad fronds firing off into the air to one side. Her lipstick exactly matched the colour of the flowers. She was wearing a simple black dress. She looked stunning.
She lowered her head slightly to one side and I realised that the way her hat partially obscured her face was very alluring. And you can’t do that with a fascinator.