Archive for the 'newspapers' Category

Pass the paracetamol

Published
by
blogmywiki
on February 16, 2008
in grief and newspapers
. 1 Comment

I’m not sure which depresses me more; this, or this?

The former shows how many colour printers secretly print yellow dots to tell The Man the serial number of your printer and the time and date of printing.

In the latter a journalist called Michael Henderson kicks John Peel’s rotting corpse 4 years after his death. Way to go. Next week I’m sure he’ll be pissing all over Jeff Buckley (”HE NEVER GREW UP!”) and taking a dump on John Smith (”HE STAGED HIS OWN DEATH TO AVOID THE TOUGH DECISIONS OF GOVERNMENT!”). Tosser.

Charlie Brooker and the Spooky Coincidence

Published
by
blogmywiki
on December 30, 2007
in Christmas, TV, children, media and newspapers
. 0 Comments

I got Dawn of the Dumb, Charlie Brooker’s collection of Guardian columns for Christmas, and I’ve been chuckling my way through it since the big day. This despite the fact that I’m clearly the sort of person Mr Brooker would cheerfully toss under a speeding car - I’m middle class, I sometimes buy organic food, I have not one but three children - called Sebastian, Tiger-Lily and Polenta. I even quite like Jamie Oliver, for chrissakes. But I chuckle on, even snickering at columns like ‘Kids are such c*nts’ and ‘Kids and how to murder the c*nting selfish b*st*rds’. Okay, I may have made those titles up, but you get the idea. He is terribly funny, filthy rude and easily the best TV critic since Clive James made The Observer worth reading thirty years ago.

Tonight I finished reading the boys another chapter of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe and settled down to finish reading myself another Charlie Brooker column. It was a good one, attacking mystics. Imagine my surprise when the first paragraph I read mentioned Narnia. And the piece immediately following was published on my 40th birthday. I was half expecting the one after that to address me by name and tell me which famous British actress I have a crush on. Which is all very confusing - Charlie Brooker’s coruscating attack on psychics makes me think that something spooky and other-worldly is going on…

(The index is a good read too. For example: ‘nasty grief-raping sucksacks, see psychics’. Or ‘complete and utter c*nts, see psychics’. And then there’s ‘Walliams, David, enjoying sexual intercourse with a potato’.)

Ming Could Not Klingon

Published
by
blogmywiki
on October 16, 2007
in newspapers
. 2 Comments

Will be disappointed if I don’t see this headline today.

…made me smile

Published
by
blogmywiki
on October 15, 2007
in asthma and newspapers
. 0 Comments

I’ve been slightly delirious since my visit to the hospital this morning, and lots of small things have made me giggle. Best was on the way home this evening… an Evening Standard placard reading:

DEADLY SKUNK FLOODS LONDON.

It really did conjure up an image of a giant stripy, smelly animal whizzing all over London Town, before the penny dropped and I realised what they were on about.

Smile

Published
by
blogmywiki
on August 6, 2007
in newspapers
. 0 Comments

Who was it who said, of literary criticism I think, “we murder to dissect”?

Who said that writing about music was “dancing like architecture”?

Well in the Guardian Guide on Saturday, Tim Jonze wrote about the comedian Josie Long. He said ‘you do have to be there’ to appreciate her sketch where she just repeats the phrase “Who here, out of everyone here, likes Nelly?”

I don’t need to be there. Just reading that phrase made me laugh out loud and thinking it still puts a big silly grin on my face.

Jon Ronson… going up

Published
by
blogmywiki
on July 7, 2007
in media and newspapers
. 0 Comments

Who’d have thunk it? Guardian magazine columnist Jon Ronson, who normally winds me up every Saturday morning, has shot up in my estimation. Apparently he recently told mad shyster David Shayler to ‘fuck off’. On Radio 4.

My name is Jon Ronson, I live in Wisconsin, I work in the lumbermill there

Published
by
blogmywiki
on May 7, 2007
in internet, media and newspapers
. 1 Comment

guardian columnists Our friend Georgina and I both love to hate Jon Ronson. His Guardian column makes us both scream and yet we always read it, week in week out. That and Charlie Brooker’s TV review are the only things I always read.

This week Jon has Googled himself and discovered that some bloggers have said horrible things about him. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned Jon in my blog, so obviously I have to put that right, right now…