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Further to my previous post about Things Found Under Journalists’ Desks, here are today’s finds:

* one pot plant (deceased)

* a dozen rubber bands (perished)

* one mobile phone (working)

Just watched Who Do You Think You Are, in which Doctor Who actor David Tennant traced his family history and was a bit uncomfortable to find that some of his ancestors were Ulster Orangemen.

Sadly it wasn’t back-announced with the words “And sticking with the theme of orange men, in next week’s programme, David Dickinson traces his roots…”

Just got the new Howies catalogue. They’ve thrown in a little book of things to do in Wales, called ‘Go Wales’.

Again, half of me wants to hug them, half of me wants to throw up.

Take this little footnote:

“You get more day for your money round here. The sun sets almost thirty minutes later than in the east.”

I’m guessing it also rises thirty minutes later as well.

As part of my job I often have to go crawling under desks used by journalists, some of them used by journalists 24 hours a day.

Here are some of the things I’ve recently found in such places:

* 53p in change
* 3 Wacom graphics tablets, covered in a thick layer of grease and dust
* 2 pens for said graphics tablets
* 17 biros
* 3 pencils
* 5 post-it notes containing once-important phone messages
* fluff
* dirty knives, forks and spoons, encrusted with ancient and decaying foodstuffs
* a hair-grip
* 2 remote controls for televsions or set-top boxes

Walking down the street the other day, I saw an advert on the back of a bus for a new brand of water.

“WATER JUST TURNED PROFESSIONAL” ran the slogan.

I was grateful for this intelligence, as it had never occured to me before that the water I normally use for cooking and drinking might be unprofessional. In fact, I’ve been a fool. Using amateur water for my thirst-quenching, boiling and steaming needs.

I then got to the railway station where I was confronted by a huge advert for yet another brand of drink – not water, but a sports drink. According to the billboard, it’s UNIQUELY ENGINEERED TO QUENCH YOUR THIRST.

Until then I’d always thought that dull old H20 was UNIQUELY ENGINEERED to do that. Silly me.