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A week ago, during a stressful visit to Bluewater, I was dragging the kids around and my youngest was screaming. I wanted to scream too, but possibly for different reasons. I was in M&S trying to buy food and they didn’t have any. It had taken ages to get there because of road works, we’d witnessed the aftermath of a 3-car smash on the slip-road, had driven round for about 20 minutes trying to find a parking space and I didn’t want to go in the first place. Anyway, a foul-looking man looked at me with hatred and said “bloody kids!”. Was he never young?

Last week on the train going home from work, in the far end of the carriage a baby cried. Young woman stopped snogging her boyfriend briefly to say “bloody kids!”. Let’s hope that snogging never ends in pregnancy.

Yesterday a woman had a small dog on the train which kept barking. No-one said “bloody dogs”.