New neighbours

Two removal vans have carted our old neighbours’ possessions off in two separate directions to two different houses, and later today we’ll be getting new neighbours.

I just dropped a welcome card through their letterbox. I did consider writing another pseudonymous card to freak them out:

Hullo. We’re Nigel and Julie from across the street. Welcome to your new home! We’re sure you’re going to love it here, and we admire the fact that you’ve not been put off by the incidents in your house. Still, I’m sure the police did a good job of putting the garden back as it was.

We’ve put you down for car parking-watch duties on Mondays and Tuesdays. You can collect your tabard and clipboard from Number 17. Just like to point out that we don’t allow barbecues or bonfires and no loud music after 7pm.

Key party nights are every third Monday night. This month’s theme is leather.

All the best, Nige & Jools x x x

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That Apple Presser in Full

Today Steve Jobs shocked the world by making some unexpected apologies at a press conference in Cupertino, CA.

He announced to a stunned press pack, “I am sorry. We lost our way.”

As reporters dropped their iPhones in shock, he continued, “We made too much money and became too complacent and arrogant. Too many of our employees behaved like Comic Shop Guy out of The Simpsons. Too many of our products contained design flaws which we denied until the bitter end. This will change.”

“For too long I pursued a petty feud against Adobe, forgetting that without Adobe, the Macintosh would never have been a success even in its niche design markets. Today we are allowing Flash on iOS. We are launching low-spec, low-cost versions of the MacMini and MacBook, and we are cutting the cost of the iPad. We’d like to apologise to everyone whose iTunes accounts were compromised. And we promise to answer the phone when you ring us up.”

“One more thing,” he added after a pause.

“We will allow any track on an iPhone to be used as a ring tone or SMS message alert.”

Ok, ok, I made this all up. That last one is utterly ridiculous.

.

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OS X parental controls on a netbook

My kids want to use my Hackintosh netbook – a Lenovo Ideapad S10-2 running Snow Leopard. One of the great things about OS X is its excellent built-in parental controls, but on a netbook with a small 600 pixel-high screen, the buttons for setting them up are off the screen.

I tried using an external monitor – with amusingly mad and useless results… then I found this trick. Open up a Terminal window and type
defaults write -g AppleDisplayScaleFactor 0.8

This makes the next window you open small enough to see the required buttons. Set up the parental controls, type
defaults write -g AppleDisplayScaleFactor 1
in the Terminal command line.

Sweet!

Posted in computers, lowendmac, MacOS X | 5 Comments

Recently read

I only ever meant my ‘Recently Read’ sidebar to have three books in it at any given time, but after a while I found myself reluctant to delete them as I liked having a record of my reading. I probably should have started a reading blog, but purely for my own benefit, here’s a dump of the books I’ve read over the last 18 months or so:

Caedmon’s Song by Peter Robinson. Picked up for a, ahem, song in Oxfam but oddly disappointing. Plus partly set in a village near where I grew up and the place descriptions don’t feel right to me.

The Slaves of Solitude by Patrick Hamilton. Patrick Hamilton is the man.

Before the Frost by Henning Mankell.

Miss Dahl’s Voluptuous Delights by Sophie Dahl. How could you not love a cookery book whose first proper section starts “We begin in the autumn because that’s when everything changed. Autumn is a season I love more than any other; for its smoky sense of purpose and half-lit mornings, its bonfires, baked potatoes, nostalgia, chesnuts and Catherine wheels.” On the other hand a (female) friend of mine points out that the only people who like Sophie are men. She also describes Sophie as a ‘simpering blonde’. Like that’s a bad thing…

The Pyramid by Henning Mankell.

Before I Die by Jenny Downham. I wasn’t going to cry. Right up to the bottom of the last page. Then I read the last line and I cried and cried.

The Fifth Woman by Henning Mankell. Much more complex than the TV adaptation.

Every Atom Belonging by Dan McKinnis – on Authonomy. Unfinished but I love it.

JPod by Douglas Coupland. Edgy. Or do I mean ASCII 101,100,103,121? Worthy sequel to Microserfs.

Sidetracked by Henning Mankell

Twenty Thousand Streets Under the Sky by Patrick Hamilton. So wonderful. London between the wars through the eyes of three very different characters who meet in a pub called The Midnight Bell.

The Ballad of Peckham Rye by Muriel Spark. Diabolical. By which I mean: pertaining to the devil.

The Ill-Made Knight by T H White. Superb.

The Witch in the Wood by T H White. Just marking time – for me and the author I think – until we get to the real deal – the Ill-Made Knight.

Twilight in Eden by David Budd. A wonderful, surprising book. Just wish he’d change the title – but I’m working on that.

The Weirdstone of Brisingamen by Alan Garner. In boot fairs and school fairs I am rebuilding the Alan Garner boxed set lost from my childhood. Trouble was – I just didn’t like this. Not a patch on The Owl Service or Red Shift. Will try Elidor next.

Hangover Square by Patrick Hamilton. So good. So, so good. Thumbs up. 10/10.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. Warming to this very much as I go… dead sinister subtext but deceptively simply told.

Killing Me Softly by Nicci French. Good, but would she, would she have gone off with him like that?!

The Sword in the Stone by T H White – without this there would have been no Harry Potter. Taking me even longer to read… too heavy to read on the train as it’s part of the whole Once And Future King sequence in one volume.

The Ipcress File by Len Deighton – love the writing, the style, the tone. Took me ages to read, though. Very different to the film.

Gemma Bovery by Posy Simmonds. Just perfect, even if I’m not sure about the punchline. But then you need something to smile about at the end.

Bye Bye Birdie by Shirley Hughes – a graphic novel for grown ups by a great children’s illustrator

Tamara Drewe by Posy Simmonds – oh Tamara Drewe, how do I love thee, let me count the ways… always loved Posy Simmonds since The Silent Three strip back in The Guardian but this is on another level. A work of genius, a truly great graphic novel.

Les Belles Images by Simone de Beauvoir

The Riddle of the Sands by Erskine Childers

A Necessary End by Peter Robinson

A Dedicated Man by Peter Robinson

The Body on the Beach by Simon Brett

Bitter Medicine by Sarah Paretsky

The Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken

Aftermath by Peter Robinson – one of the best of the half dozen or so Inspector Banks novels I’ve read

Raking the Ashes by Anne Fine

Gallows View by Peter Robinson

The Tulip Touch by Anne Fine

The Man Who Smiled by Henning Mankell

Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons

The Complete Peanuts 1955-6 by Charles M Schultz

A Song of Stone by Iain Banks – oh soddit I’m giving up on this on page 77. Over-written. Annoying. I really only like 2 Iain Banks books: ‘The Crow Road’ and ‘Complicity’.

The Hanging Garden by Ian Rankin

Death is not the End by Ian Rankin

Craven House by Patrick Hamilton (wonderful, beautifully written and observed, much funnier than I was expecting but this is an early work before he got bitter)

Canal Dreams by Iain Banks (the trouble with this is that other people’s dreams are never that interesting… I ended up skipping the dreams just to get to the end. Just read that Banks thinks it’s his worst book and I can see why.)

Let it Bleed by Ian Rankin

The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde (some great ideas but not quite sufficiently well-executed – unlike the characters from Jane Eyre, Mr Fforde’s own characters fail to spring to life)

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Political Nirvana

The coalition is such a success, I think this is not the New Politics – it’s the End of Politics.

The lion lies down with the lamb. There is peace, unity and all is good.

It’s such a triumph that I can’t believe no-one has thought of doing this before. Why stop at the 55% rule for dissolving Parliament? I don’t think we ever need another General Election ever again. Another election might risk political instability. It might risk us being thrown out of the political garden of Eden. All hail Presidents-for-life Nick and Dave!

</sarcasm>

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